Our story is one of struggles, heartbreaks, and joy. For years we struggled with infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss. Enduring lots of testing, shots, procedures, surgeries, and numerous doctor’s appointments in addition to a long list of reproductive and medical disorders. Never having a positive ending, always ending in loss, disappointment, and heartbreak but still pushing and enduring through with hopes of filling our hearts and arms.
Then finally in September 2025 we found out we were given a miracle out of the blue. Then being shocked and overjoyed we were so excited to not just have one blessing but two that have stayed, were developing and growing. Everything was great and we continued to go longer and longer than we ever had. They continued to always be side by side right up against each other no matter what.
On December 8th at a follow up appointment; I knew as soon as their little bodies appeared on the screen our precious twin girls Caroline and Chloe had opened their eyes in the arms of Jesus in heaven at 18 weeks and 2 days and meet their heavenly siblings. Still laying side by side never leaving each other. With shattered hearts we got to meet and hold our beautiful girls next day.
Now we are only left with finding hope in the darkness, courage to go on while only carrying them in our hearts. Having faith that with what time they were here even so short was for a purpose and now have a higher calling. Celebrating what time we had with them and the beauty they brought into our lives and the world. Now teaching us how to find joy in the circumstance.
KinderMourn is such a blessing for bereaved parents like me. The Empty Arms Program here has been and continues to be a tremendous resource for support, guidance, and counseling. Not just for me but other bereaved parents navigating in the most unimaginable deepest darkness that comes with perinatal/infant/child loss. Every bereaved parent, child, and family that is currently at, that is going to reach out in the future, and has been through KindMourn, are so very grateful and thankful for even the smallest bit of support provided.
This team is in memory of Caroline Rose Howell, Chloe Elizabeth Howell, and the other Howell Angels.